Psychic Medium

[original 2012/edited/updated 2020]

[2012]Last weekend my friends and I, 14 of us, took a road trip to southern California for a Joel Bauer seminar. They told me they had an extra seat in the car and it was free. I had not heard of Joel Bauer before but game to tag along.

One of the first things Joel Bauer told us was absolutely no networking on his time!  We were there for his seminar and if he caught anyone trying to 'sell' or pitch to anyone in the halls on breaks they would be asked to leave and not return. Not so much to be selfish, but Joel Bauer made it very clear to us and wanted to teach us, "Never sell or use the words sell or sale.  Never pitch to anyone, ever. Listen first.  Seek first to understand, then be understood.  Connect with people on an emotional level, listen to what they need and maybe you just happen to have something to help them. Never sell."  here is a connection between all of this and the post title.

We arrived Friday evening around midnight, at a different hotel than the seminar I need to point out.  I had not seen the seminar room, the hotel, nothing to do with the weekend yet.  I was tired and hit the bed for an early morning breakfast call.  That night I dreamed of the seminar.  I saw a young blond lady standing up front with her eyes closed and doing something with her arms.  I saw a young man standing up front with his eyes open and I saw a third person, another man in such a manner that it appeared in my dream he was running the show.  I awoke remembering the details thinking I must have imagined what the seminar would be like.

You can see where I am going with this.  A few hours into the seminar that Saturday, the scenario I dreamed about unfolded before my eyes, detail for detail.  The woman's face, her clothes, the young man and of course, Joel Bauer that I saw and had never met before.  I was struck emotionally, but not for reasons you may think.

I was happy to have received yet another confirmation.  This has been happening to me my whole life and I have stifled it because the few times I had come out before I was called crazy and made to feel so weird I just figured it would be easier and wiser to live the conventional life and work the 'regular' jobs.  But one thing this seminar finally taught me was to live your dreams no matter what!  Love life and live it to the fullest.  

I can't count how many times I have dreamed images that happen later. And more, I see people and animals that have passed, I see, hear, smell, feel their touch and sense their energy.  All this has been happening to me since my first memories of three years young.  I still remember the first time I spoke aloud about it to my family and how they laughed at me. That was a long time ago and now more people are accepting of the subject.  Being a psychic medium by profession was not a dream of mine per se, but I am getting ready to fold it into my Reiki work as an added offered service.  All I really ever wanted to do with it was help people by being used as a medium to relay messages. Now that I am learning more about Reiki and studying energy in general, quantum physics, etc, I just feel so driven to share more openly my experiences. I get so excited knowing there are more surprises on the way.

My first accidental reading was just the other day.  Remember, I had been having experiences my whole life, but never read someone right to their face before. Back to work at the office, a very nice young lady decided to open to me about how just three weeks ago her friend committed suicide. As she was telling me, I told her, "It's John, right?" And she said, "Yes, John, Johnny." Then as she was staring at me I said, "He has brunette hair, mustache, he's about 5'9-5'10, not quite 6 but definitely not a short guy, he's trim-fit-athletic, always wears blue jeans" And she said I described him to a T.  I should mention, I did not 'see him in the office.'  I saw him with my mind's eye. I won't even say in my mind, because the only way I can describe it is that he was 'standing' behind me, in the area surrounding me, outside of my body, that is in my mind's eye. It is so difficult to explain, but I saw him clear as day.

I told her I was very sorry for her friend but that he is okay and he was connecting with us because he knows you are talking about him. This part I am understanding more as I study energy more and quantum physics. Her speaking about him and myself being naturally open to mediumship acted like a lightning rod, for lack of a better phrase, and he dialed into my frequency like a radio for me to convey messages to her. While many people have heard it described the other way around, that the medium raises their vibration and tunes in to the other side like dialing a radio, I am still learning how to work with source consciousness energy in collaboration. The majority of my experiences to date have been spontaneous and mostly out of my control until I am in the moment, able to quickly adjust, find my footing and cooperate with the unfolding of the event(s).  

I told her that I have seen, feel, hear, smell, sense, dream of, etc, since I was three and I am not going to hide it any longer. I asked her if she thinks I am crazy and she said no. I told her all I want to do is help people understand that they are all around us; I see them all the time and it has made me feel a little weird to just not honor that part of myself.

She said the family is so confused because no one can figure out why he did it. He seemed fine. He talked to his sister just an hour before he killed himself. She didn't tell me how he was found, she just said 'he hung himself at his girlfriend's place. So, I said, "Well, it's different, he's not ready to share that with me now, but it's funny how he is standing. He is behind me, like in my head behind me, waaaaaay off in the distance and just waiting, like he's shy." 

She told me, "YES! He's very shy!" I told her, 'Okay, that is exactly what I am feeling. I am totally feeling his energy. See, we don't change our personality when we cross over. He is okay, he is not in the same pain he was in. whatever drove him to commit suicide, but he is... then BAM, all of a sudden I burst into tears with an overwhelming wave of sadness over me. He was projecting his sad energy onto me and I couldn't stop the emotional overload for just a minute, then it passed like an energy wave. I'll never forget it. I can still recall it now; not so much the actual overwhelming sadness, but I can recall how another being projected his energy upon my being. It is very difficult to explain, but when you get used to this happening you can tell what is your own signature frequency and what is a separate entity. It is quite bizarre.

He heard what we were saying and he was acknowledging to me the pain he was in to commit suicide, but now he is okay. Then he revealed to me, telepathically, that he is sorry for causing hurt (that's a no brainer, we all know that) but he's not ready to reveal exactly why he did it.'

Then I told her, "I have to say exactly how I see him, it is significant to mention some how. He is standing in a field, like an unkempt yard, like a HUGE BACKYARD, like I see more land than trees and not your normal house yard.  I don't see fences at all, just a plot of land." And she said, "YES! He hung himself in the back yard and it was just a large unkempt plot of land, open field with just a couple trees.

So, I assured her I did NOT see him hanging, rather, standing in the distance still, his way of letting me know he is not yet ready to come forward and just confirming his personality that he is shy as she remembers him and he wanted to show me where he was, for him it is another confirmation from him to her that this was really happening and he was connecting with us.

I told her to tell his sister in NY that he is okay, he is not suffering emotionally but that he is still confused because obviously, committing suicide does not 'technically' solve the problem, although he may be out of pain, he still has a lesson to learn, just on that side of life's plane now. He knows he is dead, he knows it is his fault, but he is not sure how to proceed.

This is what I want to do, help people understand. Life goes on, just in a different way. 

I told her, "I have to keep saying his head or face is square, I don't know why, but I am seeing square and hearing square square square." I have to talk about the "square, square, square" part. He was telepathically projecting that word into my head. But beyond telepathically telling me, I received the word as a feeling too, hitting the side of my skull, as if tapping my head with my palm, "square, square, square". Just another oddity about the experience I'll never forget. 

Then she showed me his facebook picture and sure enough, he had a square top hair cut.  The pic she showed me was of he and his sister and I told her the man I am seeing looks a LOT like his sister and she kina has more of a square shape face.

So, then I asked her, "Is it possible I am seeing his dad?  Could their dad have passed and is coming to me because the man I am seeing looks a little older than that facebook picture, like he could have been a young dad?"  She said, "Oh my gosh!  That is an old facebook pic and he was a bit older just three weeks ago when he committed suicide."

I am still hoping he may explain to me what happened because the family has no idea, but the experienced side of me is telling me that he only came to me at the office because she was talking about him and has a strong emotional energy connection to him to draw him near.  All I know for sure now, is he is okay.  I hope the family will be okay soon and not grieve long.

[edit/update Aug 2020, to date, I never saw Johnny again, nor have I tried]

By the way, I chose that particular blog post pic because that is how I feel when I am sensing others.  I feel a fog around me and that I am literally holding the universe and others' energy in my hands, all with a glow swirling about.